When a remedy for well-being or a blueprint for happiness seems too good to be true, I’m naturally skeptical. Take mindfulness meditation, said to alleviate stress and anxiety and battle depression, dampen fears and control anger, improve sleep, reduce guilt, improve cognitive function, lower blood pressure, tamp down chronic pain and ultimately generate happiness. Is it really all that? Considerable research — studies linked above and others — yields a resounding “yes,” at least in the somewhat controlled settings typical of scientific studies. What about in the real world? “Like a clear, still pool without ripples, mindfulness perfectly mirrors what’s occurring without distortion,” writes Kristin Neff, PhD, a psychologist and author of numerous books and articles on the benefits of mindfulness and self-compassion. “Rather than becoming lost in our own personal soap opera, mindfulness allows us to view our situation with greater perspective and helps to ensure that we don’t suffer unnecessarily.” Such gauzy claims had long made meditation seem too touchy-feely for me.

But compelled by the strong science, and convincing arguments from proponents like Neff, a year ago I began investigating the scientific research on mindfulness and studying up on books by gurus and coaches. And for the past six months, after a rocky start followed by a minor epiphany, I’ve been meditating several times a week, sometimes on my own but mostly with an audio guide. Gradually, I’m learning how to apply the meditative training in various situations throughout a typical day, by simply being more mindful of my thoughts and emotions as they arise — the very goal of mindfulness meditation. The journey has been fruitful. Mindfulness now helps me deal with the stress of real challenges and the anxiety of unidentified worries. It’s making me less judgmental, more aware and accepting of my own flaws, more attentive to the good things in life, and it’s reminding me to be a better listener (I’m told) and a better friend and partner (I think). To borrow a line from Dan Harris, whose infamous panic attack while delivering the news on Good Morning America led him to his own journey into mindfulness meditation, being more mindful is making me a little bit less of an asshole. Myths and misconceptions Harris’ podcast and meditation app, 10% Happier, has been a significant tool in my own journey, helping bring me to a startling realization that’s the total opposite of what I expected: Mindfulness is stupid-simple.

There’s no mysticism. No secret tricks. No flowery mantras you’re forced to utter. Mindfulness is just about being aware of the present moment, not what has happened or what’s next. It’s about focusing on thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations as they come and go, all without judging them. With roots in Buddhism, mindfulness can feel spiritual at times, but not religious. In its many modern forms, it’s highly proactive and practical, not passive or abstract. Often misunderstood and certainly not a cure-all for everyone or every problem, mindfulness nonetheless yields exceedingly practical results for many. In one of his introductory instructionals, Harris, who started out similarly skeptical about the whole thing, cites two primary benefits for beginners: “In our modern info-blitzkrieg, we are more distracted than ever, and meditation can boost your mental muscle of focus,” he says. “It can help you be less yanked around by your emotions. You learn how how to respond wisely to things instead of reacting blindly.” Let’s make this clear right now: Mindfulness meditation is no more esoteric or complicated than going for a run, hitting the gym, or engaging in any other healthy habit.

Meditation sessions can last a few minutes or an hour, whatever works for you. You’ll learn to consciously notice and pay attention to the crazy shit going on inside your head, the thoughts and feelings that race around at lightspeed, bounce off the edges, escape, return, command your attention, then fade yet again only to be replaced by the next important or inane our insane notion. Meditation experts view all this mental chatter, the proverbial voice in your head, as a potentially positive motivating force when properly harnessed, or as a nattering nabob of negativism that can drag you down…if you let it. Mindfulness helps you really listen to the voice in your head, sort through what’s helpful and what’s not. And despite a common misconception that mindfulness happens only during meditation, the practice prepares you to deal with that inner voice throughout the day. Just as exercise primes your body and mind to function well 24/7, mindfulness meditation trains you to deal with stress as it arises, quell anger or calm anxiety as it bubbles up for no apparent reason, deal with depression, or handle physical pain or discomfort caused by illness or injury. Another misconception: Mindfulness only deals with negative thoughts. Hardly! Being mindful makes us more likely to stop and smell the roses, too. It allows us to notice and appreciate the good things in life, to find a bit of joy in common everyday experiences. “Monitoring your ongoing experience may make you feel happier by helping you slow down to appreciate things or to notice more of the happy things that are going on around you,” writes Melanie Greenberg PhD, a clinical psychologist and author of The Stress Proof Brain. “You may begin to pay more attention to the trees and flowers, enjoy the feel of the sun on your skin, or bask in the warmth of your partner’s or child’s loving gaze.”

Be aware but don’t judge A typical session of mindfulness meditation involves standing or sitting in a comfortable position (cross-legged agony not required). You can close your eyes or not. A coach will help you pay attention to the sensations of your surroundings and your body, primarily the rhythm of your breathing — a natural, calming metronome that’s easy to focus on. To improve focus, you might be encouraged to attach unspoken words like “breathing in” and “breathing out” to the rhythm. You’ll be instructed to observe thoughts, emotions and urges that come to mind, to note them, and then let them pass on their own and return attention to your breathing. It’s all aimed at focusing without obsessing, allowing thoughts and sensations to arise and depart without concern. Here are just a few of the instructions offered in a typical session by Joseph Goldstein, author of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening and frequent guest and meditation coach in the 10% Happier app:

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Any given session, with Goldstein or another practitioner, might also include an area of specific focus, such as dealing with relationships, your sense of self-worth, or a particular common thought, emotion or urge that any living, breathing human might need help with. You will suck at all this. Everyone does. I said it was stupid-simple, but I didn’t say it was easy (that’s why it’s called practice). Your thoughts will race off in a million directions, like balls in a rotating lottery bin. Anticipating this inevitability, an instructor will gently remind you periodically to refocus. Over and over and over, you’ll be encouraged to grab hold of your own thoughts, to think about them as thoughts, and then let them go without judging them, without pondering whether they are good or bad, justified or repugnant, relevant or ridiculous. After all, thoughts are not real things. They’re just thoughts, constructs of a cluttered and often stressed-out, possibly fearful mind. The goal is not to stop thinking, nor to avoid your thoughts. It is to think of thoughts and emotions as passing and ephemeral, rather than letting them define or overwhelm you. Say, for example, you’re bored, or angry, or sad. Those are things everyone feels now and then, but feeling them does not mean you are a boring, angry or sad person, unless you allow those feelings to define you. “Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not ‘yours,’ not personal, writes Eckhart Tolle in his book Stillness Speaks. “They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you.” It takes practice, but after a few sessions, you’ll begin to separate mere thoughts from the reality of who you are and what’s really going on in your head, and in your life, and you’ll be prepared to act on your newfound awareness or, as is often more important, refrain from reacting. “When you practice mindfulness, you become aware that there is a difference between being aware that you are angry or anxious, and being mindful of your anger or your anxiety,” writes George Mumford, a mindfulness coach and author of The Mindful Athlete. “To be mindful of your anger or anxiety, you must be aware of yourself ‘on purpose’ and observe your reactions to things in an unattached way, as if you were observing yourself from outside of yourself.”

Accept but don’t ignore Once we’re aware of what’s really on our minds, mindfulness teaches us to accept those thoughts, emotions or urges. This is perhaps the most difficult and misunderstood aspect to mindfulness. Acceptance is often mistakenly interpreted as avoidance, as giving up, according to a study last year in the journal Clinical Psychology Review. “While we found that people seem to conceptually understand that mindfulness involves engagement, the general public is not walking the talk,” says the study’s lead author, Ellen Choi, PhD, an assistant professor of organizational behavior at Ryerson University in Canada. “Laypeople may understand what awareness is, but the next step of acceptance may not be well understood — limiting potential for engaging with problems.” Mumford is all about opening up your potential and engaging with problems, given his experience coaching pro athletes on using mindfulness not just to clear their heads but to focus on the task at hand. Imagine, as he does, Michael Jordan with the ball, down by two points with seven seconds left on the clock: “Mindfulness helps you pay attention to your thoughts in an unattached manner, which often takes the emotional charge out of them, slows down your experience of time, and reconnects you to the present moment,” Mumford explains. “It’s only in the present moment that you can cultivate conscious flow in your life, achieve optimal levels of performance, and experience that exalted place called “the zone.” For those of us not playing life at Michael Jordan’s level, “the zone” still sounds like a pretty good place from which to operate. And sure enough, on the most practical level, getting into the zone through mindfulness helps put space between what happens and how you respond. “Whatever anxiety of distractions you might feel will dissipate,” Mumford writes. “You’ll have better control of your responses to things around you — be it a full-on marathon championship or an emotionally charged encounter with someone who pushes all your buttons.” Exactly. Whether I’m straining mentally during an arduously long workout, struggling to focus on writing a challenging article like this one, or pissed off by an annoying human or some disturbing news event, mindfulness helps me calm and focus my mind. I don’t always succeed. Sometimes my mind still spins uselessly out of control. But now I have the tools to slow things down, take a breath, and focus on what’s rattling around up there. And then, most importantly, I can accept it for what it is: just a thought. That makes me happy. Or at least, say, 10% happier.